Heartbreak- Again ? Everything happens for a REASON!

SO today I am in limbo land..

#1- I believe everything happens for Purpose and a reason. I know the perfect family to match with is out there waiting for me and, as in my analogy earlier , like dating.. it sucks when you think your a match but end up not being a match. Then you realize that had you not broken up you won't meet the one you're REALLY meant to be with... (looks up) .. did that make any sense ??

#2- I still might be matched, but might not be- no ones "fault" actually as they say "it is what it is" but that statement is not so easy said ... So after our amazing conversation with the Divine Miss M and I, we were pretty confident we were matched. She even said to the agency that she felt that we were matched. Husband however doesn't like my views on termination. Thus they are waiting to hear back from the doctor.

Let me give you back story:
They have 1 pre-tested embryo that has no genetic abnormalities that is frozen and ready to go) what is left from the last surro) They also have 10 eggs frozen that still need to be fertilized. They feel that if they thaw and fertilize the other eggs that they want to try a fresh cycle, which doesn't allow for the results of the test to come back until after either they are frozen or IVF done. Which is where our hang up is.

#3 I am bound morally because of my religious beliefs as far as abortion goes. Lets just say  have been raised to believe that abortion is wrong no matter what. Throughout my life I have heard, "in cases of mothers safety, rape or insest "might" be ok." I came into Surrogacy with the belief that Termination would never happen in any case at all.. however I then heard of the case in Connecticut this year about the baby that is suffering in a surrogacy case. I wouldn't want a baby to SUFFER! It began to open my views. I have always been an open minded person however how can I choose to harm a baby on purpose and DAMN the baby to constant suffering?!?! I CANT do that! YES technically the baby is theirs.. COMPLETELY understood, and YES they would have to deal with the implications of the baby after it is born, however, I TOO have to deal with the conscious of  terminating a life afterall it is in MY body.  I think Its a conversation that all 3 should make, not just the 2 IP's.

I have opened my beliefs to allow for 1: my safety 2: in cases where the baby would suffer or wouldn't survive long after birth without medical intervention 3: MS 4: CP 5: SEVERE abnormalities: body distortion, critical missing body parts, conjoined twins etc.
I think thats a BIG change in my prior belief system.

Anyhow: that is where I am stuck. Originally the mother was told my stand, she still wanted to meet me and inevitably  yes we "fell in love" with each other's feelings about surrogacy but I have ben told her husband doesn't feel the same way. :(( that sucks cause I haven't ever met him :( I know that if he met me he would be able to understand me and my stance better. I am not a mean cruel person but I don't feel a blanket statement is good either.

Abortion is a serious point of argument for people, however, it is part of surrogacy. It is something that has to be talked about. I have not matched over a dozen times because of this very issue. It breaks my heart.

Again- everything happens for a reason and purpose right !
Lets cross fingers for either Divine MRs M and her hubby giving me a chance, or finding a couple that will be OK with my views!! The agency said I am free to keep looking.. that hurts my heart just thinking of that, but I guess I should keep looking.  :((