Once your clear you want to be either an IP or a Surro and you have everything in line for the surrogacy and you are clear that it is something you want to do...
Now before we go to the next step of Finding your match, (step 2) I want to discuss
Pro's and cons of Independent VS Agency...
There are MANY factors to consider for both parties... As the usual disclaimer .. I am probably not going to get EVERY factor... however, I will try to cover most that people think of first. These are also part OPINION, and part FACT. This is not an end all say all... There are great amazing points to having an agency and great amazing points to being independent. I hope I am fair to everyone that reads this.Pro's of having an Agency
Both
- PROTECTION PROTECTION PROTECTION!
- They do the match finding for you, give you options. Generally the agency will give you choices to choose from and they already weeded out terms you want and don't want. - when you fill out the agency profile, they will select match's that meet your needs and beliefs. IE GS vs TS; Termination issues: selective reduction beliefs: location. Etc.
- They know all the steps forward, backward and sideways and they are there for you every step of the way of the process.
- Makes the surrogacy process FASTER because of the efficiency of the Scheduling done by the agency. They (usually) coordinate all, planning, flights, legal, background checks, medical, insurance, requirements, paperwork, and you are walked through it all step by step.
- They make sure to the best of their ability that EVERYTHING in the contract is carried out.
- Provides a middle man that works out impersonal issues, like legal, and financial issues without harming the Surro-IP relationship.
- They negotiate the contract with both parties and give them a non bias ground, saving the surro and IP's from hurt feelings because of difference of opinion.
- They manage the Escrow account for fee disbursement and provide proof of reimbursements to the IP's to be paid for. Protecting false claims to the IP's and getting the Surro reimbursed quickly.
IP's
- No need to search and search for your surro... Often IP's search and search for months or years sometimes. However an agency will match you in a significantly shorter amount of time.
- Ideal for busy IP's- time saving.
- Ideal for IP's wanting to match quickly.
- Protects the IP's financially- keeps them protected from SCAMS!
Surro's
- The surro doesn't contact the IP when she need funds disbursed, she contacts the agency. This is a HUGE pro!! and generally the MAIN reason surro's prefer agency's.
- Quick and efficient.
Con's Of an Agency
Both
- Can at times feel impersonal- sometimes Surro's and IP's want to have a relationship from the beginning. However the agency tries to arrange conversations with the IP's and Surro they try to make it more match based the Surro and IP's aren't free to communicate until after contracts are signed (generally, this is not always the case but it is in most agency's)
- Most surrogacy agency policies are set in stone and they will not waver such as fee's, Surro requirements, IP requirements. (I have been turned down for an agency based on the state I live in! )
- Generally no TS- I don't know of any agency that works with TS.
- There are some commercial surrogacy agencies that are biased and will look out more for one party. For instance if an agency director that was once a gestational surrogate mother she may favor surrogates or an agency may follow the money and will favor intended parents. HOWEVER, a good way that GOOD agency's prevent this is that there is a surrogate coordinator and an IP coordinator so that they are both fairly looked out for (I AM being bias here, but the agency I'm working with does this to keep it balanced.)
IP's
- COST- IP's can pay anywhere from $3000-20,000 to the agency to get their help and some IP's just cant find the extra money, or don't see the value in the agency.
Surro's
- They can be quite picky on their choosing for a surrogate. That is why its VERY IMPORTANT that you follow Step #1 fully otherwise you will likely be denied from an agency. Just because you're denied by one agency doesn't mean you're denied by ALL. You can have been denied by some agencies for some stupid reasons, some legit reasons. Heck I was even denied for being Mormon by one agency. It made me laugh, but I just moved on to the next one!
If you choose that an agency is for you here are starting places for agencies. When I began this article I was originally going to list agencies as a starting point, but then I got to thinking about the fact that EVERY situation is different. I didn't want to suggest a bad agency even though it may be popular. I didn't want to point fingers at this one is better than that one, or make it seem like I was endorsing agencies. Also I have to take in account the respect I have for the agency that I am currently working with (and frankly love working with.) So thought I'd suggest guidelines to guide you to an agency instead THEREFORE the choice not to list agencies was deliberate. Some of the ways to find agencies: google Surrogacy agencies, you will get HUNDREDS! Perhaps searching for agencies that specialize in your state, Asking your RE what agencies he's worked with and like, Asking IP's or surro's who they work with and how they like it.
Make sure you research your agency and are confident in their ability to fill your needs. Also if you are not able to reach your agency worker in a reasonable amount of time, think about how that might affect you later on. Will they be attentive to your needs? and GET unbiased references. you can go on just about any Surrogacy board and ask for references about experiences about ____ agency and people will give you honest feedback.
Pro's of being Independent
Both:
- Allows for a personal connection from the beginning.
- Allows for a larger freedom of choice and a wider ability to negotiate etc.
- Allows for Traditional Surrogacy (which is cheaper than IVF)
- You set your own terms and discuss them with your IP's or surro freely.
IP's
- Cost- saves the cost of the agency fee's ($3000-20,000)
Surro's
- No agency denying you.
Con's of being Independent
Both:
- Searching and weeding through people to find your match. This can take months and in some cases years.
- There are ALOT of scams out there so BE CAREFUL! There is little to no protection from scammers as an independent!
- Take your time! To prevent scams, can be easy to skip steps but know its all for YOUR protection! and as an independent you need as much protection as you can!
- MANY states ban Traditional Surrogacy.
IP's
- Doing all the footwork of: background checks, medical clearance, arranging travel, legal, insurance etc.
- If doing TS- BE CAREFUL, many states consider the mother the MOTHER in TS and the IM will need to adopt the baby. So tread carefully and REALLY get to know your surro, and everyone she surrounds herself with!
- It is VERY easy to be taken advantage of! Make sure you stick with your contract to help you not paying out too much. You don't need to pay for your surro's light bill, cell phone bill, and any other crazy bill that has nothing to do with surrogacy! Don't get walked on just because you fear losing your baby!
Surro's
- Little if any protection from IP's not paying bills, fee's and reimbursements etc.
- Little protection if the IP's disappear- leaving you pregnant, and with a baby.
OK so Looking up at the blog I know that it seems I am agency Bias... and honestly I AM a little agency bias, I tried going independent and I have tried with an agency. I know that I am more protected. and I know that is a big factor for me.
However if you wish to go independent, here are places you can go to search. Most comonly known is www.surromomsonline.com www.Surrogatemother.com and www.allaboutsurrogacy.com there are also facebook pages, and other random places you can look. You can also contact local reproductive Lawyers, your OB's office, or Fertility clinic's in your area. They sometimes have people looking for a match and you might be just what they are looking for!
As I always DISCLAIM- I am NOT an expert- this is a fraction of reasons of pro's and cons- I know there are SO MANY other pro's and con's to Agencies and Independents Please feel free to Comment any additions you think I should add in :)
Now the next step is - Step 2- FINDING YOUR MATCH - Questions to ask-
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