Natural birthing... Why IP's are scared

Before going into this deep conversation of birthing that is always a heated debate especially by natural birthers I want to update everything with my personal Journey:

Today I received 3 emails... 

One from the therapist doing my psychological .. It has been postponed to Tuesday .. sad face .. but thats OK I'm happy to have it done soon :) 

One from the insurance company saying  I have been approved for the insurance through underwriting and that I just need to call in to arrange the billing for my IM :)

One from the fertility clinic saying they received all my paperwork and lab results and everything looks great, just waiting on Dr's official approval. 

so YEAH !!!! everything is MOVING ALONG WELL !! 

OK so today's subject I want to address simply because I want to educate. The title is not to demean of belittle those that chose hospital birth, but more to educate on the statistics, and possibly open the discussion of hospital birth VS natural birth VS home birth.

IP's have ad thier share of broken hearts and babies that haven't been able to come to their arms! I posted this blog and WOW I had quite a back lash, honestly made me wonder if they actually READ the post.

So let me clarify:
#1 I would do hospital birth if told I needed to deliver in a hospital, or even if my IP's would prefer it
#2 Midwives transfer to the hospital for complications,
#3 Complications and death in connection with natural birth or home birthing is DRASTICALLY LOWER than a medicated birth.
#4 1/3 of european births are home births and of the 2/3rds that use hospitals or birthing centers 2/3rds are natural births and have HALF of the infant mortality rate of the US. Leading conclusions to show that it has benefits the baby. If both IP's and Surro are on board with it.
#5 I dont think less of those that do hospital and medicated birth's

This comes from the CDC (center for disease control, statistics). :

Home births have a lower risk profile than hospital births.

The percentage of home births that were preterm was 6%, compared with 12% for hospital births (Figure 6).

The percentage of home births that were low birthweight was 4%, compared with 8% for hospital births.

Less than 1% of home births were multiple deliveries, compared with 3.5% of hospital births.

The lower risk profile of home births 

Natural Birthing.. is there a place in Surrogacy for HOME BIRTH and Natural, Unmedicated birth's? 

I don't care if you prefer hospital or home birth... its the birthing mother's choice of where to birth, and yes the IP's need to want to be on board as well... but ultimately its about the health of the baby. But lets educate ourselves what IS "best for the baby" right ?  After all we have all worked so hard to help this baby exist. I hear arguments about why "risk" the baby. If the baby is at risk the midwife will send the laboring woman to the hospital, period. However 99% of home births have no complications. 

Here is my Birthing History with my girls that have molded my views: 

When I had my oldest daughter (KK). I did what I was told and got an OB.  I was 19 and expected to go in the hospital, be induced, listen to the doctor, sit and push and the baby would be whisked away to drink a bottle and eventually come back to me wrapped up all pretty.

I scheduled my induction, to allow for planning in my family. I went into the hospital the night before at 4:00 because there was only 12 L&D labor rooms and they had 10 full and wanted to make sure I could have a bed the next day. I was supposed to get started on my pitocin at 6am the next morning but my body naturally went into labor that night. at 2 AM I woke up my friend so that she could tell my nurse I was uncomfortable. She realized I was in active labor and quickly gave me pitocin to "push it along" .. after all I thought thats what you do. she gave em a shot of Vicodin to "let me relax" and I went to bed. I woke up at 4 AM really hurting. She ordered an epidural, because after all thats just what  is done right? Even with the epidural I could still feel pain, however I just couldn't move then! SO I was STUCK! I couldn't feel half of my body and I just thought it was just how an epidural felt, after all I hadn't had one before. I was given IV fluids, to keep me hydrated. and I had my water broken at 7:00 AM  At 7:15 KK was born. I had a birth plan NOTHING on my birth plan was carried out.. I wanted to see her born, I wanted to have her on my tummy right away. She was left on the table for over 10 minutes. by herself. I kept asking for my baby and no one would give her to me and I was ignored. Watching the video is so sad... It breaks my heart thinking of KK's birth.. honestly her birth was torture and I had no control of my birthing at ALL. For heavens sake no one said anything to me after I had the baby, I layed there when my mother and the OB was delivering the placenta yacking about the election,  as i begged for my baby to be put in my arms and no one ever responded to me! for over 10 precious minutes!  She eventually came to me after they weighed her, and gave her a bath (without me there).. I was THEN allowed to bond with my baby.

I look back on the videos of my birth of my KK vs my Video's of DD's birth they are NIGHT AND DAY!

I don't BLAME anyone but myself for this occurrence, as I didn't EDUCATE myself and learn there was another choice.. I didn't even KNOW I had another option or choice. . Ultimately the interventions including the bottle given to her after her bath (before she was given to me) caused her to be a lazy sucker and ultimately have poor nursing. which caused her poor nutrition. Which to ME is the most amazing thing you can do as a mommy is to nurse your baby (Quick Surro note here... there are  great IM alternatives for teaching your baby to nurse on her true mommy!! she can Induce lactation while her Surro is pregnant and breast feed as soon as her baby is born and if she cant do that, she can nurse using a feed tube attached to her breast, so she can still feel like she is nursing her baby!) All of this made me feel like a failure as a mother! I was also left with a "permanent spinal injury" from the epidural, which made my right hip numb for 10 years (it is finally gone now, took me a lot of research to find this out but it was recently explained to me that your bone cells regenerate every 10 years, and it took that long to shed the epidural from my bones! OMG!! ) and I didn't want to end up with even more severe Injury from my my baby DD. So I looked for natural birthing methods! 

I KNEW on my next birth I would do birth naturally.. but where to look. I thought I still needed to have an OB so I went to the OB in the hospital and told him I wanted a natural birth... at 32 weeks prengnat  I started taking Hypnobirthing classes to help me in my natural birth. I learned SO MUCH from that class. I went to my doctor asking that he respect my birth plan. To my Chagrin and surprise he was NOT going to agree to no pitocin after 12 hours of labor and wouldn't agree to no c-section after 24 hours. He felt labor needed to be done and over in 24 hours.. there is no leeway period.. I fired my OB and got a more natural birth inclined OB, (which I LOVE!!! BTW! ) Who's own wife had 4 natural births, which made me VERY happy to hear! Every aspect of my birthing with DD  was DIVINE! I lost my Cervical mucous on the 28th I had random contractions throughout the day, went to get acupuncture to get it more regular at 5ish .. in the 15 mins sitting in the acupuncture chair I had 4 contractions (that I breathed right through with ZERO pain!!) which was so assuring and made me so confident I could actually do this! When I got home (which was a block form the acupuncture clinic) I used the breast pump to stimulate more contractions, After 10 minutes I thought I would time them.. they were 3 mins apart lasting for a minute each and I didn't even notice because I was so relaxed and at peace with the experience!! Honestly this labor was WONDERFUL! So once I realized I was in active labor I told KK to call Grandma and my Doula and  the rest of the team. I had a birthing photographer, doula, an assistant doula, my sister, along with my daughter and mother as my birthing team. They all had jobs that I gave them well in advance and I was so excited to execute this birth that was in MY control! My doula arrived quickly. I made the decision to transition to the hospital (where they are equipped for and respect natural birth WAY better than my KK's hospital of birth!!) just as my mom and assistant doula arrived. So with my "entourage," I called them, we descended on the hospital. My sister and the rest of the team met me at the hospital, as it was only 2 blocks from my house.  It was great I had my birthing ball in one hand, and water in the other. I stopped when I needed to bounce through a contraction. It was actually funny cause my dr's partner passed me as I was in a contraction asking if I needed help I just said "nahhh, I'm just having a baby I'll check in eventually".. in full honest sincerity and very matter of fact LOL.. at this point this doctor knew of my desires of a natural birth and understood me well :) it was great :) He could see I was in no distress and that I was very clearly in my peaceful birth zone. I made it to the L&D where everyone promptly did their jobs assigned. I clicked off the lights when I walked in, put on MY birth gown.I didn't want to have my butt hanging out in the ones from the hospital so I bought my own! My computer was plugged in, my music was playing and I was ff and going and happy! I labored in many ways, honestly,  ALL  were phenomenal, my favorite was bouncing on my labor ball, and being in the water. It was INCREDIBLE! I remember thinking when I was around 7 cm dilated that THIS is what birthing is about and it was HEAVEN!! I birthed how I wanted to, I was in whatever position I wanted , and DD SLID OUT like a worm at 7:10 AM. It was the most incredible experience in my life. She was put on my body immediately and I was so happy! Definitely 1000000% better experience than KK's birth HANDS DOWN!! 

I KNEW that any future births NEEDED to go down as amazing as this!! I wanted a water birth from the time I was little and heard of them , actually around the time of me hearing about surrogacy (13 years old). and let me tell you.. laboring in water is GREAT! 

OK so there is my birthing history to this point! 

After doing my hypnobirthing class and being educated on the unhealthy and unsafe practices that go into a medical interventioned birth and how AMAZING the natural birth WAS and FELT! I knew I wanted natural births from here on out!  

When I realized I was ready to be a surrogate my first thought was I WISH I can have a home birth for my IP's if they are comfortable with it. My first experience with a debate on this in the surro world was on a surro board. I had posted that I wanted to have a natural birth and would be open to a home birth for the IP's.  I feel it would be a great service and intimate gift I can give to the IP's and ultimately I feel is best for the baby! When I posted this an 8 time surrogate (I'll call Octo-surro) told me that I was stupid and foolish for "risking" someone else's baby and would never find an IP willing to risk their child that way and that I was irresponsible for even suggesting it! I wanted to scream back "SERIOUSLY LADY you risk that baby more in a Hospital interventional birth" but resisted! I just said thanks for your opinion. and moved on.  A friend of mine Jill (aka the Mormon Surrogate) , had her first surro baby naturally and that just sounds like HEAVEN! 

However this Octo-surro threw me back...  

THEN.. got me thinking... 

WOW.. perhaps not everyone research's and just "goes with what's expected" as I did in my first birth. convinced that its the "best thing." 

I have talked about the idea of natural birthing  with every IP I have ever talked to.. often I get the scared sounding voice on the other end, worried that its not good for the baby. I just want to educate people on healthy birthing not put BABIES in RISK! 

Fortunately one of the things MaMa D and I talked about was my desire for a  healthy birth with natural birthing with a midwife.  Mama D seemed hesitant, as in her profession she see's EMERGENCIES ALL DAY and is always worried about the worst case scenario. After much discussion we agree'd on a birthing center, which is the best of both worlds! Where I can have a homebirth feel, but with the "security" my IM needs in her babies birth :) Which made me happy as well! 

I really could talk about this all night but I'm tired and need to go to sleep :P (its 1:49 AM) 

Here is a GREAT video called "The Business of Being Born" its an amazing documentary on the history of natural birth, and the history of hospital birthing. 

I wish to share this video to open up the possibilities of having more natural birthing IN the surro community. 

After watching the video. Tell me what your opinion is on natural birth in the Surro environment?  

To Learn more about Hypnobirthing Click here 

If you'd like to Reach my Hypnobirthing Teacher Jill DiPietro, she does classes through skype and can do this WITH the IP's and the Surro together no matter WHERE you live!)  click HERE! (btw tell her I sent you) 

If you'd like to learn more about Doula's  let me know I would love to share more, as I am a Hypno Birthing doula and LOVE IT! 

Happy Stickies!! 

BTW my friend Jill I referred to earlier is starting her meds for a new cycle tonight so lets all give her Happy happy cervical lining thoughts :)