Surrogacy VS adoption

This post is being written out of curiosity and clarification for those unsure of the difference between Surrogacy and Adoption.

As a surrogate, almost every time I tell people I am a surro they ask "How can you give the baby up?" - I don't know if its just the Utah Mentality, where adoption is very common, or just not knowing the difference. I always giggle and say .. "nope I'm an extreme aunt babysitting for 9 months, nothing makes me happier than making dreams come true" usually puts them in a place where they are open to learn more. Of the dozens of people I've talked to about my decision only 1 wasn't supportive, and she was an adoptive birth mother, that couldn't see the difference.

Surrogacy has been a passion of mine that I have known in my heart I have been predestined to have in my life. Surrogacy is a calling of a woman from within...  For the purposes of this post I will talk about the Differences and similarities between a Gestational Carrier (surrogate) and an Adoption Birth Mother.

Main Differences

Circumstances that lead up to surrogacy and adoption:

• Surrogates: 
• Most Surrogates has given birth to all of  her own children that she is raising
• She has no intention on keeping the baby that is born or having more children for herself. 
• There is no guilt or "what if" feelings from the Surrogate.  
• Is a calling to become a surrogate. 
• The entire process is planned months before the baby is conceived 
•  Must be mentally stable and physically cleared and prepared for the pregnancy and must follow a stringent eating regimen while pregnant. 
• Adoption Birth Mother: 
• Most feel they are not ready to have children
• Most plan to have children they will keep in the future 
• Most have guilt surrounding the circumstances of the baby's conception (usually sex outside of marriage  or rape)  
• Fear they are making the wrong choice. "could I raise my baby" 
• Statistically they have poor mental health surrounding the pregnancy. 
• Sometimes Birth mothers do not care for their bodies when they give their child for adoption.  

Legally: 

• Surrogacy 
• Total of Surrogacy costs the IP's  $30,000-100,000 
• The IP's are the legal parents of the baby from the time it is conceived, and throughout its life. 
• The Surrogate is not considered the mother. Depending on the state, may never even have a birth certificate that has her name with a Pre-Birth Order. 
• Contracts regarding the pregnancy are drawn up and legalized before conception 
• If a baby is born it is guaranteed to be theirs, no one can lay claim on them except for the Intended Parents. 
•  Adoption
• Total adoption costs are $10,000-50,000 
• The Adoptive mother controls the legality of the adoption and may chose to change her mind withing the first 6 months, or some states 1 year of birth. - creating even more heart ache on the Parents. 

Often surrogacy Intended Parents have had so much heartbreak already they are emotionally worn and are "ready to have a baby already." Most have had infertility, miscarriages, loss of babies, loss or lack of female organs, tried adoption with no success. They turn to surrogacy.

I am honored, excited, and proud to be a surrogate for my Goldilocks and papa bear. I cannot wait to give them the privilege to be parents! With no fear.. but excitement that they WILL be parents!!